Tuesday, May 11, 2010

ONE word to describe these past few days...CHAOS

so this past saturday...i graduated from college. I never really pictured myself graduating...in 4 years. But I did it! the ceremony was a tad long....but I was so EXCiTED to see my family!

Bobby(Mellie's boyfriend), Mellie, DAD, gramps, ME, Sheila, Maddie & Jaelee, Aunt Mel, Grams, and Jessica

BUT let's rewind....before saturday morning....let's say midnight EARLY saturday morning....

as most of you know...pregnant women use the restroom alot....well i'm one of them & i get up about 4 times during a night. yes! that's alot...but i crave water and juice (more on cravings later :) ) so you can say i'm mos def hydrated and so is babyboy. back to early saturday morning....i was awakened by partiers that live a few apartments down.....not once...but about 3 times..and you can ask mister dennis. it takes ALOT to wake me up at this point because once i'm asleep im OUT. i used to be a light sleeper BUT that has changed. therefore, I only get up to relieve the bladder and then back to bed. so these people were playing music, laughing, having a good ole' time. Which is fine with me....i tried to sleep through it. so about 3 AM i am awakened by a fight between a girl and guy. my nosey butt gets up and peeks out the window. they were saying very mean things! they were pacing up and down the parking lot...and i told myself OK i'm giving them a little more time and the party is OVER. so i use the bathroom...get a little drink and i lay back down and try to drown them out. THEN at 4AM! i hear a car door slam and speed thru the parking lot. i get UP again and see the same girl standing in the parking lot and the car parked only spots from my car. i sit back down...i'm furious! seriously here kids..i think to myself....i ask myself...aud are you that old? are you really going to go out there and say quiet down?! hmmm....so i sit there...they're yelling...obvioulsy the guy wasn't going to leave. i lay back because this is wearing me OUT. THEN....the defining moment...i hear a word...that makes me sick to my stomach. i hear the guy say a very racisit term....and he doesn't only say it...he YELLS it...probably 3 times...in context with other words. before i can put my glasses on...i am OUTSIDE ON MY PORCH looking down at the scene. they ignore me at first and then the girl looks up at me. i said the PARTY is F-ing over. I'm sorry but you all have been going at it for 4 hours, and I was debating either to come out here...but you're IMMATURE less of a man of a boy friend decided to say something i will not tolerate. you guys have 5 minutes and if you are not gone or silent the police will be here. i went on to ramble...how offensive the word is and that it shouldn't be in any ones vocabulary. THEN the guy decides to look more IMMATURE by telling me to go back in the f-ing house. i said that's okay! i'd rather see and hear what's going on than just hear it. obviously you can't handle your alcohol because you were out of control by midnight and you're still a mess 4 hours later i PRAY you are not graduating in the morning for numerous reasons. he mumbled things under his breath...i'm sure i didn't want to hear nor have them echoed into my belly. the girl proceeds to walk off towards her apartment and say's she's SOOOO sorry. i said thanks but i feel SORRY for you, to even associate with a person like that guy. he didn't respond...they both walked back into the apartment...i went back inside....and layed down on my bed....EXHAUSTED. i thought....hmm..... why did this happen?!?! the first day dennis isn't here....(he was in kansas from friday to sunday for track conference)

I'm not sure what I learned from this situation but i do now realize how much racism bothers me. people are so quick to say such an out-dated, degrading term. and it's sad. i just had to tell myself to calm down and be positive. and so i thought about my baby boy.....i'm sure he'll have questions for dennis and i....and i'll be ready for that chat. im excited to tell him he's was created by both of us! and he doesn't have to pick a side....that everyone loves him and those who thinks he's different are RIGHT. everyone is different...that's why we all look different. thank goodness for that! i am excited to see who's he's going to look like...i can't to see his wrinkly ankles and little ears....and just breath his baby smell in.

Needless to say... i got a few hours of sleep......and the SKiRT fit me...barely :) and i graduated!

afterwards.....we went to eat at Colton's. it was dee-lish. I had peanuts, rolls, steak, baked potato, salad, and 3 waters.....and then the skirt needed to be taken OFF! i was exhausted.....and got home around 4 and went to bed at 7:30....and slept all night...with no interruptions :)

i was at the head of the table :)

this is all the same crew PLUS mister dennis' mama and her fiance Zack! they drove 4 hours to come to my graduation and lunch!

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