Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Clay's Arival, Part 1

For awhile now, I have been wanting to write down, look back on, and reflect on my whole experience with Clay. For one, I'll eventually forget most of the "little things" and for two I want a written (typed i guess :)) record of it. i'm going to break it up into parts because I can already tell that this story is gonna be a long one....so here goes.....

Finding Out

(Picture this)

There I was, sitting in my car, just staring at the Dollar General sign. I was in Warrensburg, the college town I had moved to in August of 2007. I was a senior in my last semester of my under-grad, and I had been too busy with life to notice that "aunt flow" had missed the bus. I was too busy with classes, papers, work, parties, downtown. Until, on February 26th, it hit me. It was going to be a weekend of just work. Dennis was away at his conference track meet in Joplin and my roommates had went home for the weekend. I worked the morning shift and that afternoon something in my head reminded me of what hadn't came. I got off work, tanned, and then drove across the parking lot and parked and that's all i did, park and turned the car off. I called my mom, we had a short discussion about the situation and she said yes, to go ahead and go buy a test and take it. So that's just what I did, I bought a test and walked out. Then, I drove to Wal-Mart, clear across town and parked again. I called my mom again, and she of course answered on the first ring because she had thought I had already taken a test. I told her I was in the Wal-Mart parking lot, she asked why in the heck was I there. And to be honest, I wasn't too sure. So, again I walked into the store and bought another test. I guess I was thinking that Wal-Mart pregnancy tests have to be more accurate than DG's. lol. I checked out, and there was the bathroom straight in front of me. I was scared to take the tests, but made myself go in. I took the handi-cap stall, I guess thinking I needed some major room to take the tests. So I took the first one, and while it was "processing" I took the other one. and then I just sat there, under 4 of those paper cut outs you put on the seat before you sit down, the DG test was done first..... it was positive. I just sat there and stared at the other one. It was positive. I remember thinking, I am never going to forget this. I walked out of Wal-Mart and sat in my car somemore. I called my Mom and told her. First thing she said was she was marking it on her calendar and that she knew I always wanted a baby, someone who loved me and depended on me. I drove to my apartment and sat in the silence. I plugged in my ipod, like i normally did when the roomies were away, and jammed out.... and I sat there and just thought and cried. It was a happy cry.... with a little of worry in there. The only thing I was worried about was the baby and telling the news. Because I didn't want to tell Dennis over the phone ( he was in Joplin, remember) I didn't talk to him the whole rest of the day. He had texted the normal things like they had made it, they were on the track, but I couldn't bring myself to respond because I didn't want to slip and tell him or have him worried about me when I sounded different on the phone. So I packed my bags and went to my moms and made plans to go to his track meet the next day. I brought her for support for sure! She calmed my nerves on the way down there. Inside I was screaming with excitement, but scared. Dennis and I had only been dating less than a year and we definitely had had our ups and downs. As I walked into that gym though, I knew when I walked out everything was going to be different. I walked over to where the majority of the UCM athletes were sitting, Dennis and his friends spotted me and they were surprised I had made the trip. Dennis came down and I couldn't stop smiling. He was pretty happy to see me and my mom there, and he hadn't heard much out of me the day before or that day. Mom sat down and I told him I wanted to talk to him, we walked away from the crowd away from everyone. We stood there for awhile, and he kept just looking at me, making his eyes big like okay lets hear it, and I couldn't get the words out. In my head, I was saying, BAY WE ARE HAVING A BABY. But all i could do was smile at him with a few little tears in the back. I kept telling him, to "just guess." He was like guess what?! And I told him almost 3 times, to guess what i was about to tell him, and he then that's when he said. you are pregnant. I said yes. he smiled, o my gosh did he smile. he said well okay, are you okay though. I nodded. and we just stood there. He took my hand and we headed back to the stands. His events were coming up and he went to warm up. I told my mom that he had took it well. lol...... that day Dennis did the best he had all year in long jump :)

I spent that Sunday driving back to school and working on a presentation in the library. It was a weird feeling walking by people, because of course I thought they knew I had just found out I was pregnant. Dennis got home late from Joplin and we spend the evening doing laundry and laying in my TWIN bed talking about everything baby. We were both too excited to talk about our worries, but of course they were there. The following day, I went to the health center on campus and took another official test, it was positive as well. Dennis and I left there and went and had breakfast on campus and then made the call to my doctor's office I had been going to to since moving to Warrensburg, it was in Lee's Summit and I loved the office and all the people who worked there. We made the official appointment and it was for March 22nd. It was the Monday after spring break, and it felt like that day was never going to come. I had never been so ready for Spring Break to be over with!

to be continued.... Part 2 the first appointment of many to come and graduating...